HarmonQuest Quotes

The Game Master | “Since the dawn of the 1970s, Fantasy role-playing games have provided men and women with an escape from their awkward lives.”

Fondue Zoobag | “I’m good at one thing, noticing that everyone hates me.”

Fondue Zoobag | “We’re kinda hoping that in the very final battle humility will be the weapon that defeats some kind of narcissistic dragon. That, like, we fit our self-loathing into an integrity-shaped hole or something. Because if-because if beating it requires hitting something With a sword, we are fucked.”

Dildo Bogpelt | “I make a nice, long cylinder with a bulbous tip at the end, and it and it shudders for a moment and then evaporates.”

Beor O’Shift | “Uh, Dragon-man janitor! We’re trying to defeat the people who own this. Help.”
Eddie Lizzard | “Don’t call me ‘dragon-man janitor.'”
Beor O’Shift | “Sorry.”
Eddie Lizzard | “That’s a bad start.”
Beor O’Shift | “I’m so, I’m so sorry, I have no diplomacy.”

Beor O’Shift | “Mr. Lizzard, can I give you an extra 15 to hear your story?”

Eddie Lizzard | “Yeah. I was born here. *walks off screen*”

Eddie Lizzard | “Can I say something? You just gave me 70 gold to give ME a handjob.”

Eddie Lizzard | “Oh, blades came out, what a shocker! Didn’t see that coming a hundred times.”

Beor O’Shift | “I bet you wish you had some of this for that handjob or maybe he would like you more.”

Eddie Lizzard | “YES! More Gold!”

Eddie Lizzard | “Oh! So my haul today is 530 gold pieces and one handjob.”