History 101

Troy: Trying out the hipster look. It’s cool, but also not.

Jeff: A little late to the hipster party much?
Britta: A little much on the “much” much?

Dean Pelton: All right, all right. All right. Simmer Dean.
Jeff: This can’t be good, he’s dressed as himself.

Britta: Jeff, you’re graduating early?
Jeff: Well, graduating after 30 can’t be characterized as early.

Pierce: Jeff’s really going after that ball. There’s got to be a joke in there somewhere.

Shirley: Jeffrey, is that blood on your shirt?
Jeff: Oh, no, it’s cool. It’s Leonard’s.

Jeff: Two balls!
Pierce: This is gonna be so good when I finally get it.

Britta: I don’t think anyone’s gonna miss wars.
Troy: Uh, Star Wars, Thumb Wars, wow, Storage Wars!

Jeff: For my partner in the Tango competition, I choose, the Dean.
Dean Pelton: *gasp* The fountain works.

Pierce: All these balls, I’m so close I can taste it!

Pierce: Gay balls, nailed it!

Pierce: Can somebody tell what the hell we just did?

Jeff: Dean, what are you-oh! You smell like the floor of a movie theater.
Dean Pelton: Yeah, but not for the usual reasons.

Dean Pelton: Oh, good, you got wine. I’ve got friends with benefits, hm no subtext.