Analysis of Cork-Based Networking

Annie: Save Greendale Committee, please welcome our newest member. Math teacher Ben Chang!
*silence*

Duncan: I, for one, am glad this is happening. What this school needs is a band of heros, champions willing to rise up and “get all those potatoes out of the gym.”

Duncan: They really get the incest right.

Britta: I don’t start watching shows until they’re so popular that watching them is no longer a statement.

Britta: Brince Ironstone’s daughter is his mother!

Abed: I wish I knew sign launguage. *signing* I detonated a mollusk.

Britta: Are you going to have another intense burst of compatibiltiy with a girl we never see again?
Abed: I can’t hear you. *signing* Banana. Train.

Chang: I have an idea!
Annie: Chang, your last idea was to murder.

Annie: Any way we could bump that up a litte, so it’s somewhere above…”lower flag for Reagan’s death?”
Jerry: You gotta talk to a custodian for that, we janitors.
Annie: There’s a difference?
Jerry: We was just starting to like you.

Buzz: Welcome to the Labyrith, kid. Only there ain’t no puppets or bisexual rock stars down here.

Abed *signing*: I learned how to say this in sign language.
Carol *signing*: You’re a fast learner.
Abed *signing*: I learned how to say this in sign language.
Carol *signing*: Don’t forget I can read lips.
Abed *signing*: I learned how to say this in sign language.

Chang: I have an idea. “Bear down for midterms.”
Jeff: What?
Chang: “Bear down for midterms.”
Duncan: You can’t just repeat it, you need to explain yourself.
Chang: It’s midterm time.
Duncan: Mmmm-hmmm.
Chang: People have to “bear down,” study hard, get to work. It’s “bear down for midterms.”
Shirley: Is there a dot I’m not connecting?
Jeff: Uh-uh.
Chang: It’s a play on words. “Bear down” is an expression.
Shirley: I know the expression, Chang.
Duncan: “Fly on the wall” is an expression. But if I want to pitch “Fly on the wall for midterms.” You might ask, “what do you mean?”
Jeff: Chang? Are you crying?
Chang *crying*: I understand I’ve been crazy in the past, but that doesn’t make it any less frustrating to be completely dismissed like this. I don’t know if you guys even see me as human anymore. I don’t know if it’s like a joke to you. Are all Asian men like a joke? If it’s like a racial thing.
Shirley: No.
Jeff: No.
Duncan: No.
Chang: I’ve paid for my crimes. Underneath all the craziness, I am still a human. And I, I do want to make a difference and…Can you respect that? Please?
Jeff: Chang…What can we do here?
Chang *crying*: Bear down for midterms.
Duncan: Okay.
Jeff: Okay, well.
Shirley: We’ll…put up some bear things?
Duncan: We’ll bear down. For midterms.
Chang *crying*: Okay.

Annie: I want everything to get through that porn blocker.
Debra: What do you mean everything?
Annie: EEEVVEEERRRRYYYYTTTHHHHHIIINNNGGGG!
Debra: Understood.

Neil: Here are your sodas…Oh my god.
Ducan: Yeah.
Jeff: Pretty great.
Ducan: Yeah, bear down buddy.
Neil: Too soon, you guys. This is way too soon.
Shirley: Too soon for wha…
Neil: Too soon for this! After this morning in Wisconsin? Bear breaks loose at a kid’s birthday party? Mauls a whole bunch of people? Why am I explaining this when this is obviously a ghoulish reference to to it? The news has been covering it all morning!
Chang: *snaps finger* That’s where I got the idea. You know how sometimes you hear something, and forget you heard it, but you this you come up with…Oh man, this is bad. *snaps finger* We’re in crisis mode now, we really messed up you guys.

Dean Pelton: My god, Annie. What kind of labyrinth have you created? Certainly not the magic kind with puppets and macho rock stars.

Dean Pelton: Oh man, this got Sorkin-y.

Jeff: You know Annie, um. Sometimes it feels like you don’t take us seriously.
Annie: Aw.
Ducan: Yeah, I guess we bring it on ourselves. But it’s still pretty frustrating.
Shirley: Annie, is this a race thing?
Chang: RACE!
Annie: No! God, no! You guys! I accept that it’s an expression, but I don’t see the connection to…
Chang: You’re overthinking Annie, it’s decorating. just pick and idea and bear down on it.
Annie: Um, really poor choice of words, Ben… Too soon.

Britta: Now I feel bad…But…you learned a lesson, and I gave a differently abled person a job.
*Abed walks away*
Britta: Oh, no. Now I really feel bad, wait no. Come back! Let’s be far dogs about this.

Abed: Hello. What happened to you?
Rachel: Nothing. You never called.
Abed: I’m sorry. That was the year of the gas leak, but I won’t use that as an excuse. I can be inconsiderate, and a lot of other things.
Rachel: Me too. I guess I could’ve put in some effort. Would you like to go to lunch sometime?
Abed: No, I’d like to go to dinner. Now.
Rachel: I can do that. I started this coat check without permission anyway.

Chang: There’s a brand new dance, based on an old phrase. It’s called the fat dog and it will amaze, you’ve this expression your entire life. It’s not made up, it’s not made up. There’s a brand new dance, based on an old phrase. It’s called the fat dog and it will amaze, you’ve this expression your enti-
Garrett: IT’S A BEAR DANCE!

Female Automated Voice: You’ve reached Greendale faculty office supply. For pencils, pens, and markers, press one. For tape, glue, and adhesives, press two. For staples, paper clips, and fasteners, press three.
Ducan: Mmm.
Male Automated Voice: For Marigold, press four. Marigold. For obsidian, press one. For aqua cerulean, press two. For arcadia, press three. Enter activation code. Confirmed. Arcadia initiated.
Man: What’s your clearance level?
Ducan: Top…
Man: You really want to activate this, sir?
Ducan: Yeah. Oh! No. No! Can you *deep voice* cancel it.
Man: Wait, who are you? Who…Who is this?
Ducan: It’s not… I’m…*hangs up*
*Jet fighter flys overhead*
Ducan: *sees staples* Ah, right in front of you, stupid. Ah.